Children are a Menace
by Unrestrained Curiosity
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha used to hate children, they were annoying and whiny...but after a certain incident, his opinion of them changed. NaruSasu.


**A/N: Okay, this is my first NaruSasu story and also my second attempt at Boys' Love, the first one being a complete disaster that is now residing in some garbage dump, so please go easy on me. I hope some of you out there will like it and will be kind enough to review. I myself think it could've been a LOT better, but I'm still a beginner and well, hopefully I'll get better. So, without further ado, enjoy!**

---

Sasuke Uchiha, one of the best lawyers money could offer and also one of the most wanted bachelors in Tokyo, was a grouchy man by nature. He had an almost permanent scowl on his face and a generally unapproachable aura around him. One should not judge a book by its cover, but in Sasuke Uchiha's case, it was fairly obvious to most people that he was not one to like children. Those people were indeed correct, he loathed them.

So, what was he doing in front of Sakura Haruno's house going to meet her first born? He had asked himself the same question repeatedly and the answers he came up with were not satisfactory. The first reason he came up with was that Sakura was his good friend and would pound him into the floor if he did not show, after all she could be a scary woman, but he was not at all pleased with the answer because he was an Uchiha and Uchihas were not scared of anything.

He rang the doorbell and waited patiently for someone to open the door. Meanwhile, thinking of the second reason, which by the way was even worse, by his standards, than the first one. The reason was…

The door was opened by a grinning blonde-headed man, "Hey Sasuke, didn't think you'd show up! Come on in, you're going to love the little kid!"

…"Naruto."

Try as he might, Sauke Uchiha could not deny that he had a hopeless crush on one Naruto Uzumaki, detective extraordinaire and the third member of Sasuke's little friend circle. The three had met up in high school as mere 15 year olds and 10 years since then, although going to different colleges and having different careers, they were still the best of buddies; meeting up every week, having a great time and getting to know each other's first born children, even though one of them hated annoying brats. Sakura was their mutual friend, who initially had an irritating crush on both Sasuke and Naruto, but soon found her way into their hearts by being a great friend. Naruto and Sasuke had been rivals since the very beginning, each competing to be the best student in class, or best sportsperson or fastest eater etc, over the years, after they got to know each other, they became extremely close friends. Sasuke didn't remember exactly when he started his crush on Naruto, it wasn't that he didn't find him attractive before but he wasn't attracted to him, but somehow he found himself wanting Naruto as the days passed. He concluded that it was because Naruto was Naruto, with his sunshine blonde hair, his cheesy lines of "I'll always be by your side, teme" and his bright smile.

When Sasuke entered the house he found Sakura and Lee were in their large living room, sitting on the sofa surrounded by what seemed like fifty or more people. Sakura, the only female of the trio, had married her persistent suitor, Rock Lee, a year ago and three months later were expecting their first child. It had been a hellish nine month long journey, but at the end of it, when Sakura gazed at the cute, pinched, crying face of her little son, she thought it was all worth it. She was so excited that she wanted her best friends and everyone she knew to share her joy with her and had invited them over a week after. Sasuke walked over to them and said in an extremely bored voice,

"Congratulations. You procreated. I feel so happy for you both. Have fun raising him."

It wasn't that he wasn't happy for Sakura, he just didn't feel the need to express it. Sakura, knowing he meant well, smiled and thanked him. Then, with a devious grin, looked at Naruto and then back at him and blinked. Sasuke had never told Sakura about his crush, but she had figured it out on her own. She was after all a genius, a medical genius, but a genius none the less.

Naruto looked quizzically at her but shrugged it off and said, "So when will he wake up? I wanna play with him."

Rock Lee, who had been silent all this time, spoke out of nowhere, "You must be patient, he's only a child, he needs sleep. Patience is a virtue. You will achieve good results only if you wait."

Everyone ignored him, because just then the little baby opened his eyes and gave a huge yawn. Everyone in the room "aww"-ed and Sasuke rolled his eyes. He must have angered the infant, because just then he turned his head and vomited straight on Sasuke's nice, well-pressed trousers, right on his crotch and the bottom of his shirt. Naruto, being Naruto, grabbed a napkin from the nearby table and started dabbing at Sasuke's pants. Naruto's touch, however, immediately summoned a rather embarrassing response from Sasuke. He grabbed the napkin, rushed to washroom, all the while muttering rude obscenities about puking pests. Everyone in the room, didn't know how to react so they settled for laughing. Sakura got up to bring him a change of clothes and when she came back, struck by a brilliant idea, sent Naruto to give him a pair Lee's trousers and a t-shirt.

Confused and oblivious, Naruto did as he was told. Of course, he didn't think it was necessary to knock on the door, so he went right in and met with the sight of a half-naked Uchiha bent over at the sink, washing his face. Naruto couldn't take his eyes away from the pale pale skin and the perfectly well-toned back. Another asset of the Uchiha that he paid attention to was his black silk boxer covered bottom. Sasuke, at that moment, realized he had company. With wide-eyes and an aghast expression, he met with Naruto's equally wide eyes. After an awkward pause, Naruto coughed and stuttered, "Umm, clothes…Lee's...for you…Sakura gave them…" and roughly shoved them at Sasuke and fled the scene, all the while blushing a bright shade of red, '_Idiot! Now Sasuke will think I'm some crazy, horny pervert or something!!!'_

On the other of the door, Sasuke was having a similar reaction. After hastily putting on the clothed, he was having an internal struggle,

'_How degrading, humiliating, I'll never be able to erase it from my mind! Is there something horribly wrong about having a crush on your male best friend? Lots of people do, Fate doesn't torture them as much as it does me. What did I ever do to deserve such contempt??? Naruto left in a hurry, he obviously saw me sporting a stupid erection. What am I going to say now? How am I going to explain my body's betrayal??? I can't really say something as retarded as "hey sorry, it's just that baby vomit turns me on". That'll be another nightmare. Okay, just relax and be calm. You're an Uchiha, Uchihas are always calm. It's there in the unwritten book of Uchiha laws, right after the rule 'Uchihas are never scared of anything'…Kinda makes me think exactly what my ancestors thought they were, fear and panic are biological bodily reactions, one can't just not have them! Ah… they made up those laws before the age of science. So I can panic…oh that made me feel so much better! Uchiha, you have now got the right to turn into a nervous wreck, use it wisely. Why am I thinking like a lunatic all of a sudden??? Okay, Sasuke stop, calmly get out of the freaking bathroom and act as if nothing happened. Yeah That's the key! You are a genius!'_

With that ingenious plan, he stepped out of his hideout, only to hit Naruto squarely on the back of the head with the door. Naruto, deep in thought, had apparently forgotten to move from the spot he had occupied. Sasuke looked down at him, surprised. Naruto looked back, their eyes stayed locked with each others for precious minutes, when the trance was broken by Naruto,

"Uh Sasuke, look, there's something I have to tell you something. I really like you a lot and I have for a long time, so I've been wondering, will you be my boyfriend? I was hesitant to tell you because I didn't know how you would react but I have to because I wanted to really ravish you back then and I realized I had to get it out of me. So please forgive me for what I'm going to do next."

Sasuke didn't get a chance to blink, Naruto pinned him to the door and crushed his lips to his. It lasted for several seconds, but Naruto started pulling away before Sasuke had a chance to react. But, he held his ground, pulled Naruto harder against him and kissed him back just as vehemently. This time when they pulled away, they both had a look of utter contentment on their faces. Sasuke smirked and murmured,

"Did that answer your question? Or should I have to spell it out for you? Well, considering the dull idiot you are, I guess I have to. I like you too, dobe."

Naruto shot him his brightest grin and kissed him again, Sasuke whole-heartedly returned it. When they got back sometime later, holding hands and declaring their new relationship, Sakura smirked knowingly, Lee smiled at them, a few of Sasuke's or Naruto's suitors (more like, obsessed fangirls) let out loud moans of displeasure ("Ah, what luck, the two most wanted bachelors are dating each other!"), most of the people cheered and wolf-whistled, and the baby smiled on innocently…

After that day, Sasuke decided that maybe babies weren't that bad after all.

---

**A/N: If you find any grammatical errors, problems with the story, etc, feel free to leave constructive criticism in your review. This is not beta-ed because I seriously have no idea how the beta system works. Any suggestions, tips and advice will also be much appreciated. Let me know what you think, please and thank you.**


End file.
